Somedays I reeally feel like I'm loosing my mind. And I probably am. No car and no job make Renetta go crazy. I'm not getting dressed today like I didn't get dressed yesterday. Got no place to go anyway and no car to get there if I did. I will get dressed tomorrow because I need to go into Ogden which means I will spend most of the day on the bus to accomplish one errand. I hate that. If I had a car, this drive would take me twenty minutes tops tomorrow for my errand. Instead it will take me two buses to get there and two buses to get back where I will spend more than 2 hours (nearly 3) on bus to complete an errand that will take me less than 30 minutes.
But that's not the most complicated or longest amount of time I've spent on the bus to accomplish something. It recently took me four buses, catching the first one at 6:30 am, to make it to a 10 am job interview. And the last bus still had to drop me a couple of miles from my final destination. There wasn't a bus that could get me any closer. I spent 3 hours and still had to to walk another 30 minutes to get to that job interview. Then I had to get home.
I was really hopeful because they had me come back for a second interview. Both interviews went very well. I wasn't a second late for either interview. And you can't tell me that I didn't want that job. I've been accused of not trying hard enough to find a job, that I'm lazy. Does that really sound like I'm not trying? Does it really sound like I'm lazy? I don't get it. I'm punctual, even without my own ride. I am a hard worker. I learn new skills quickly. I come with lot of valuable skills from my previous work experience and I have a Bachelor's Degree. I don't know what else to do to get someone to hire me. But it will be me and the bus again tomorrow.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
Nothing's Ever Right
If it's not one thing, it's another. It's March and I haven't found anything to replace H & R yet.
I found myself in the emergency room recently. I couldn't breathe. I was having alot of pain, in my upper back which was making it very difficult to breathe. On top of that, I was nauseaous and vomiting. And there comes a point when you're suffering so badly, part of you wants to die and be done with it. Don't get me wrong here, I don't want to die. I often complain about breathing, but I actually like to do it. But not when it hurts.
So, they take xays, take blood and give me an IV because I'm dehydrated from vomiting. My xrays come back clear, nothing wrong there. My blood work comes back normal, which isn't normal for me because I have a hereditary condition from my father. I'm almost always look like I'm suffering from iron defeciency anemia. Anyway, they can't find what's wrong, which is frustrating for me because this has happened before and no one can tell me why it's happening or how to keep it from happening again.
Finally, they bring in this chalky liquid for me to drink that taste like sewage. I had to fight my own gag reflex to get the whole ounce drank. But I had almost instantanious relief. Doctor comes in and tells me I have an acid reflux problem. That the attack I was suffering from was brouht on by acid reflux. It could be triggered by certain foods and stress. The food stuff I had already figured out on my own and I hadn't eaten anything I know would make me sick.
So, them he ask me about my stress. Do I have a normal stress level? And the answer is: HELLL NOO!!! I mean, come on, I'm a single mother of two special needs children. I spent the last year without work and I'm a workaholic. Do you know what happens to a workaholic when they don't have work to do? Look at some of my first blogs, it aint pretty.
So basically this doctor, who by the way was a nice guy, tells me I need to reduce my stress. I still have yet to figure out how I'm supposed to do this. I live with my number one stressor, my daughter, who is currently a teenager and she's not a pleasant one. She's been suspended twice so far this school year. Anybody got a magic wand that will fix my kids? Anybody got a way to get me my Betty back? Anybody got a way to keep me employed? My Bachelor's Degree sure aint doing it, and honest work, nothing illegal. Anybody know where I can find a good husband? I hate sleeping alone. And don't tell me to go to church, I go every Sunday and all the good men there are already married.
So, I guess what it boils down to is somedays I just feel like: Life's a Bitch, so why can't I die? And that's not an invitation for any nutjobs out there. Nutjobs stay away. I have enough loopy relatives to deal with. I guess I just wish my life was a little more pleasant. Less stressful would definitely be good.
I found myself in the emergency room recently. I couldn't breathe. I was having alot of pain, in my upper back which was making it very difficult to breathe. On top of that, I was nauseaous and vomiting. And there comes a point when you're suffering so badly, part of you wants to die and be done with it. Don't get me wrong here, I don't want to die. I often complain about breathing, but I actually like to do it. But not when it hurts.
So, they take xays, take blood and give me an IV because I'm dehydrated from vomiting. My xrays come back clear, nothing wrong there. My blood work comes back normal, which isn't normal for me because I have a hereditary condition from my father. I'm almost always look like I'm suffering from iron defeciency anemia. Anyway, they can't find what's wrong, which is frustrating for me because this has happened before and no one can tell me why it's happening or how to keep it from happening again.
Finally, they bring in this chalky liquid for me to drink that taste like sewage. I had to fight my own gag reflex to get the whole ounce drank. But I had almost instantanious relief. Doctor comes in and tells me I have an acid reflux problem. That the attack I was suffering from was brouht on by acid reflux. It could be triggered by certain foods and stress. The food stuff I had already figured out on my own and I hadn't eaten anything I know would make me sick.
So, them he ask me about my stress. Do I have a normal stress level? And the answer is: HELLL NOO!!! I mean, come on, I'm a single mother of two special needs children. I spent the last year without work and I'm a workaholic. Do you know what happens to a workaholic when they don't have work to do? Look at some of my first blogs, it aint pretty.
So basically this doctor, who by the way was a nice guy, tells me I need to reduce my stress. I still have yet to figure out how I'm supposed to do this. I live with my number one stressor, my daughter, who is currently a teenager and she's not a pleasant one. She's been suspended twice so far this school year. Anybody got a magic wand that will fix my kids? Anybody got a way to get me my Betty back? Anybody got a way to keep me employed? My Bachelor's Degree sure aint doing it, and honest work, nothing illegal. Anybody know where I can find a good husband? I hate sleeping alone. And don't tell me to go to church, I go every Sunday and all the good men there are already married.
So, I guess what it boils down to is somedays I just feel like: Life's a Bitch, so why can't I die? And that's not an invitation for any nutjobs out there. Nutjobs stay away. I have enough loopy relatives to deal with. I guess I just wish my life was a little more pleasant. Less stressful would definitely be good.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Things Are Getting Better
Wow, we're still alive. We, me and my kids, made it through 2009.
I've had to accept that I'm never getting my Betty back. I was able to get a bus pass and that helped alot. Still had to bother somebody when we needed groceries. Bought a pretty decent POS for $500 just before Christmas, a little Subaru station wagon. It's wonderful to be driving again. And I've been hired on by H & R Block for the tax season. It great to be productive again.
Everyone in my office is so nice. Wish I could work for them all year long. Hopefully, I will have found the next thing by April 15th when tax season ends. But a temporary job is better than no job, and part-time is better than no time.
Things are looking up and I'm feeling better about myself. Now, if I could just loose some ofthe wieght I've put on while I've been depressed and half out of my mind for the past year.
Good luck! :)
I've had to accept that I'm never getting my Betty back. I was able to get a bus pass and that helped alot. Still had to bother somebody when we needed groceries. Bought a pretty decent POS for $500 just before Christmas, a little Subaru station wagon. It's wonderful to be driving again. And I've been hired on by H & R Block for the tax season. It great to be productive again.
Everyone in my office is so nice. Wish I could work for them all year long. Hopefully, I will have found the next thing by April 15th when tax season ends. But a temporary job is better than no job, and part-time is better than no time.
Things are looking up and I'm feeling better about myself. Now, if I could just loose some ofthe wieght I've put on while I've been depressed and half out of my mind for the past year.
Good luck! :)
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