God made man so that man may know joy. The important word in that sentence is MAY. We are not promised joy. It's like the pursuit of happiness. You can pursue it all you like, but you may never have that either. I've tried to be a good Christian. I pay my tithes and I don't do it with a chip on my shoulder. I'm happy to pay my tithe. I consider it a great blessing that I have a job now and am able to pay tithing. I quit smoking a number of years ago and I was never a heavy drinker so giving up that was no great hardship for me. But I was a pack a day smoker and there are days when that is still hard. As for my vow of chastity, not always so happy with that. Boy, it's amazing how quickly a man loses interest when he learns you're not going to be putting out any time soon unless he marries you first. Goodness are many men just flat out commitment phobic.
My life has always been difficult in one form or another. I have struggled in many ways. And through many things that would have broken another person's faith, I had managed to keep mine. I do not expect my life to be easy. I expect certain things to be difficult and to have hard time. My current occupation has me working in a call center where sometimes the customer biggest problem is the tech is running late for the install of their service in their second home. I don't think people with second homes should be allowed to complain. I live in a basement apartment with the spiders and the centipedes and anytime they want to trade for a couple of weeks I would be happy for the vacation.
I expect some hardships and I don't expect anything to be handed to me on a silver platter. But I did think that when I finally met my eternal companion that there would finally be some things that would finally just fall into place. I thought on this one thing, God would not let me down or make me wait any longer. After all I'm already fourty-one and no one is promised any certain amount of time on Earth.
But the jokes on me. I have met my eternal companion and no he wasn't quite what I was expecting yet I fell in love with him instantly. Except Heavenly Father seems to have forgotten me. Instead of things falling into place in any way, shape or form, my eternal companion did not recognize me as his eternal companion because he is blinded by the world. Instead he has ignored me, turned his back on me, walked away from me and married the wrong woman.
I haven't been to church in weeks except to drop off my tithes because I find no comfort there surround by all the other couples. I am in no condition to take the sacrament. My heart is broken and my mind a confused mess. I've taken off my garments and put them away because I don't feel comfortable in them. I was so happy when I became temple worthy and took out my endowments and looked forward to the day when I would be sealed for all time and eternity to my eternal companion when we finally found each other.
Okay, I found him. But he doesn't know he's found me and has married someone else. And the fact that it's not a temple marriage doesn't bring me any comfort.
I've survived so much, been strong through so much. On this one small thing, why didn't Heavenly Father have my back? I did everything I was supposed to do. I fasted and I prayed. And I believed. I believed. Then he married the wrong woman.
I don't know who God thinks I am. In this one thing He has truly over estimated my ability to endure to the end. Because if I have to live the rest of my life watching my eternal companion be married to another woman, I'ld rather die.
God made man so that man may know joy. Well, it certainly doesn't say so that woman may know joy and He never promised we would have any.
My life has always been difficult in one form or another. I have struggled in many ways. And through many things that would have broken another person's faith, I had managed to keep mine. I do not expect my life to be easy. I expect certain things to be difficult and to have hard time. My current occupation has me working in a call center where sometimes the customer biggest problem is the tech is running late for the install of their service in their second home. I don't think people with second homes should be allowed to complain. I live in a basement apartment with the spiders and the centipedes and anytime they want to trade for a couple of weeks I would be happy for the vacation.
I expect some hardships and I don't expect anything to be handed to me on a silver platter. But I did think that when I finally met my eternal companion that there would finally be some things that would finally just fall into place. I thought on this one thing, God would not let me down or make me wait any longer. After all I'm already fourty-one and no one is promised any certain amount of time on Earth.
But the jokes on me. I have met my eternal companion and no he wasn't quite what I was expecting yet I fell in love with him instantly. Except Heavenly Father seems to have forgotten me. Instead of things falling into place in any way, shape or form, my eternal companion did not recognize me as his eternal companion because he is blinded by the world. Instead he has ignored me, turned his back on me, walked away from me and married the wrong woman.
I haven't been to church in weeks except to drop off my tithes because I find no comfort there surround by all the other couples. I am in no condition to take the sacrament. My heart is broken and my mind a confused mess. I've taken off my garments and put them away because I don't feel comfortable in them. I was so happy when I became temple worthy and took out my endowments and looked forward to the day when I would be sealed for all time and eternity to my eternal companion when we finally found each other.
Okay, I found him. But he doesn't know he's found me and has married someone else. And the fact that it's not a temple marriage doesn't bring me any comfort.
I've survived so much, been strong through so much. On this one small thing, why didn't Heavenly Father have my back? I did everything I was supposed to do. I fasted and I prayed. And I believed. I believed. Then he married the wrong woman.
I don't know who God thinks I am. In this one thing He has truly over estimated my ability to endure to the end. Because if I have to live the rest of my life watching my eternal companion be married to another woman, I'ld rather die.
God made man so that man may know joy. Well, it certainly doesn't say so that woman may know joy and He never promised we would have any.
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