I hate being frustrated. I want to have enough acreage that I can't see any of my neighbors. I am sick and tired of having people up under me constantly. I had bought a little grill for our little deck so I could cook outside this summer and not heat up the house. Except the back of my unit faces the backs of other units and they're barely 10 ft away. I don't dislike my neighbors but I'm not a social flutterby. If I step out onto my little deck to do a little grilling, I'm fine with saying the basic greetings, but I'm not interested in having a conversation 90 % of the time. I just want to step out and cook undisturbed.
So I've been doing some research because if I could get the land that I wanted I should do something with it, right? And I decided I would like to grow some various small groves of fruit and nut trees, lemons, limes, pecans and such. Maybe some free range chickens and a few goats too. And I learned there are grants out there for beginning farmers and women who want to farm. Except, I can't seem to find where they're hiding what I need to get started with my new dream.
It's mind boggling. It's like they don't want anyone to take advantage of the available grants, so they hid them. Not to mention I don't really have any grant writing experience. Why does it have to be so hard? No wonder no one wants to be a farmer. It's too damn complicated. And here I am, a single mom with two special needs kids, a special needs younger brother and my own mother is several cards short of a full deck so I carry a lot on my shoulders as it is and I can't seem to figure this out.
But I haven't given up yet. I'm trying to find what I need to make this happen. In the mean time as I torture myself trying to figure this out, I keep praying I'll win how ever much a week for life from Publishers Clearing House. There's no lottery here in Utah so that's my only hope. That and Obi-Wan Kenobi. May the force be with me.
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