Insomnia and depression are not a lovely combination. When I sleep, I'm not sleeping well. My brain won't turn off. I keep going over and over in my head what's wrong with me and what can I try to do better.
I couldn't even just relax on mother's day. Cherokee gave me this little plaque/award thing for being a great mom thanking me for all I do and all I will do. But it just made me sad because I feel like I'm failing her.
For unemployment purposes, I'm required to apply to at least 4 different places a week. I've been applying to 6. And all I'm getting is rejection after rejection after rejection. Most don't bother to even respond to my application. Others send me a little e-mail saying the position is either closed, filled or I'm just not what they're looking for. It's simply rejection after rejection after rejection.
How is a person supposed to keep their head up when the world does nothing but reject them?
So I find myself sitting here at 5am, running through my head where I should apply next. I suppose I could take a pill. That will at least put me to sleep for a couple of hours, but I hate to medicate myself to sleep.
Maybe I should try shortening my resume some how. Maybe a page and a half long resume is too long. Maybe I'm filling out the applications too perfectly. Maybe I should try deliberately misspelling a few things. Maybe I should try to applying to 8 places a week instead of 6. Am I coming across too confident? Am I not coming across confident enough? I don't know.
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