Monday, November 3, 2014
Tired and Stressed
Tired and stressed. Sometimes it just seems like I can't catch a break. I was recently informed by Unemployment that I was accidentally over paid due to an amount that was paid out to me by my former employer Convergys that I wasn't aware of because I didn't have access to my last pay-stub. Convergys is a paperless company, so access to pay-stubs is only available through the website that only active employees have access to. As a former employee, I can't get in to view and print my own pay-stubs. Like wise, I have been unable to update my address with them so I'll get my W-2 next year. Thus when I applied for unemployment all I could report was what I knew I had earned based on the hours I had worked. Anytime I have tried to contact Convergys I get the run-around. If I call HR, someone with a thick foreign accent I can barely understand apologizes because they can't help me. I've gone into the local offices where no one will meet with me and when someone did return my call, I was informed I couldn't have the information I was requesting because it's the property of Convergys. I just want this place to stop screwing up my life. I can do bad all by myself. I don't need any help with that. So I'm tired because my shift at Home Depot begins at 4am which means I get up at 3am. Yet I can't take a nap because I'm stuck sitting here waiting for a call from Unemployment to try to resolve the next complication Convergys has caused in my life. When will this place finally just be a bad memory?
Sunday, August 17, 2014
August 17th, 2014
08/17/2014, my baby girl Cherokee turned 22 years old today. It was just me, her and her cat, Echo, celebrating. Nothing too fancy. She picked out a cheese cake yesterday for today and ice cream of course. I bought a toaster over yesterday so we can do some baking. The oven in our apartment seems to be a bit of a fire hazard. I've only tried to use that oven twice. The first time something that should have only taken 15-20 minutes took over an hour. The second time it caught on fire. Electric ovens that make fire bad. But the stove top still seems to be working fine. The landlord took a look at it. I think he was hoping to fix it, but it's so old he can't find parts for it. He said something about replacing it, but that was a couple of weeks ago. So I bought the toaster oven so we can at least do a few things that require an oven. We did a frozen pizza in it for Cherokee today.
This is my third week at home depot. So far so good. My shift is from 4am to 8am. I'm part of the pack down crew which just means I help keep the shelves stocked. So far I like it there and I can see myself working for Home Depot for many years to come. But getting up in the middle of the night to go to work stinks. I don't think it's something anyone can really get used to. And of course I'm only part-time. They are not in the habit of hiring anyone directly into a full-time position. They start you off part-time to make sure you're going to work out. Typically, once you've been there six months, then you can start applying for full-time positions as they become available. They like to promote from within and I can even transfer to another store if I need or want to.
We'll see how it goes. You can only take it one day at a time. And I'm reluctant to let myself get too hopeful. Some of my new coworkers are perfectly happy to sit in part-time positions, but they have husbands who have full-time jobs with health insurance etc. But there's no husband here. It's just me, myself and I as usual. No prince charming is coming to save the day. No white horse and no shining armor. Hell, if he showed up in a beat-up pickup wearing faded blue jeans and a flannel shirt I'ld be delighted. The only place where I have an exciting love life is one of my daughter's video games.
Oh well. Can't have it all I guess. Or at least I don't seem to be allowed to have half of what I want and need. So I'm just going to focus on the new job for now. My current supervisor was able to get his position in only four months. Maybe I'll at least get lucky at work and move into a full-time position quickly. In the mean-time I'm trying to get cross trained for some other departments in the hopes I can pick up some extra hours that way.
This is my third week at home depot. So far so good. My shift is from 4am to 8am. I'm part of the pack down crew which just means I help keep the shelves stocked. So far I like it there and I can see myself working for Home Depot for many years to come. But getting up in the middle of the night to go to work stinks. I don't think it's something anyone can really get used to. And of course I'm only part-time. They are not in the habit of hiring anyone directly into a full-time position. They start you off part-time to make sure you're going to work out. Typically, once you've been there six months, then you can start applying for full-time positions as they become available. They like to promote from within and I can even transfer to another store if I need or want to.
We'll see how it goes. You can only take it one day at a time. And I'm reluctant to let myself get too hopeful. Some of my new coworkers are perfectly happy to sit in part-time positions, but they have husbands who have full-time jobs with health insurance etc. But there's no husband here. It's just me, myself and I as usual. No prince charming is coming to save the day. No white horse and no shining armor. Hell, if he showed up in a beat-up pickup wearing faded blue jeans and a flannel shirt I'ld be delighted. The only place where I have an exciting love life is one of my daughter's video games.
Oh well. Can't have it all I guess. Or at least I don't seem to be allowed to have half of what I want and need. So I'm just going to focus on the new job for now. My current supervisor was able to get his position in only four months. Maybe I'll at least get lucky at work and move into a full-time position quickly. In the mean-time I'm trying to get cross trained for some other departments in the hopes I can pick up some extra hours that way.
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
A Little Good News
We finally found an affordable apartment that doesn't make us want to run for our lives. It's still not in the best condition, but it's livable. The old brown carpet is over twenty years old. I remember the style from my teens. They don't even make it any more. And it smells like old dirty baby diapers. Previous tenant had a little one and left behind a beat up pair of tiny little shoes. The windows are aluminum and some of the screens are missing and the ones that are there aren't in the best shape. You can't just push the toilet handle and be on your marry way. You have to stand there and hold it.
After I signed the lease today I sprayed the apartment with spectracide. I saw an earwig in the master bedroom. I hate those things. Their little pinchers are painful.
So I'll be spending the rest of the month hauling ass to get us completely into the new place. It has some sort of weird textured walls that kind of looks like lumpy candle wax. I don't like it but at least there's no linoleum on the wall. The carpet doesn't look like a dead body was dragged acrossed it and it doesn't smell like a dead body. The dirty diaper smell I can deal with. A dead body smell I cannot.
At least I won't be worried we're going to be homeless anymore. With this off my mind, maybe I'll finally find a job. I might be coming off as tense or uptight in interviews. Wish us super-de-dooper good luck and keep us in your prayers.
After I signed the lease today I sprayed the apartment with spectracide. I saw an earwig in the master bedroom. I hate those things. Their little pinchers are painful.
So I'll be spending the rest of the month hauling ass to get us completely into the new place. It has some sort of weird textured walls that kind of looks like lumpy candle wax. I don't like it but at least there's no linoleum on the wall. The carpet doesn't look like a dead body was dragged acrossed it and it doesn't smell like a dead body. The dirty diaper smell I can deal with. A dead body smell I cannot.
At least I won't be worried we're going to be homeless anymore. With this off my mind, maybe I'll finally find a job. I might be coming off as tense or uptight in interviews. Wish us super-de-dooper good luck and keep us in your prayers.
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Cherokee Earned Her Diploma
My baby girl came home with her High School Diploma yesterday, and I am so very well pleased with her. It took her a little longer than normal and she did it through a special education program available here in Utah, but she did it. We should be going out to do something special to celebrate, but I am still job hunting. There are no extra funds for me to take her to a movie or out to dinner or anything. I have no way to mark this special occasion with her other than tell her how happy it makes me that she finally earned her diploma. Yet I am very sad that I can't do more for her than that.
I had a preliminary group interview with Harmons in Draper the other day, and I hope it leads to an actual job. And I continue to apply for just about everything under the sun. The only thing I won't apply for or consider right now is another call center. I don't need to be chewed up and spit out like that again.
Now I just need to convince Cherokee to go to college. She's afraid she can't do it. I know she can. It might take her fifteen to twenty years to earn a Bachelors degree, but she can do it. Right now she just keeps saying she doesn't know what she wants to do. I keep telling her that doesn't matter, she can just do general studies part-time until she decides what she wants to do.
She certainly doesn't have what it takes to just get out there and get a job. And getting out there and getting a job is devastatingly difficult. People keep thinking because I have a degree that I can get a job just about anywhere and that's not true. I get turned down most of the time because I'm over qualified. Getting rejected over and over and over again starts to make you crazy, chips away at your self-esteem a piece at a time and leaves you feeling worthless.
And I'm feeling especially worthless today because I can't do anything special with or for my girl for earning her Diploma.
I had a preliminary group interview with Harmons in Draper the other day, and I hope it leads to an actual job. And I continue to apply for just about everything under the sun. The only thing I won't apply for or consider right now is another call center. I don't need to be chewed up and spit out like that again.
Now I just need to convince Cherokee to go to college. She's afraid she can't do it. I know she can. It might take her fifteen to twenty years to earn a Bachelors degree, but she can do it. Right now she just keeps saying she doesn't know what she wants to do. I keep telling her that doesn't matter, she can just do general studies part-time until she decides what she wants to do.
She certainly doesn't have what it takes to just get out there and get a job. And getting out there and getting a job is devastatingly difficult. People keep thinking because I have a degree that I can get a job just about anywhere and that's not true. I get turned down most of the time because I'm over qualified. Getting rejected over and over and over again starts to make you crazy, chips away at your self-esteem a piece at a time and leaves you feeling worthless.
And I'm feeling especially worthless today because I can't do anything special with or for my girl for earning her Diploma.
Saturday, May 17, 2014
Evicted
Got what basically equals an eviction notice yesterday. My lease is up at the end of the month and they know I'm currently unemployed. And even though I haven't missed paying my monthly rent, I've not even ever been late on paying it, we are no longer welcome here at Orchard Cove Apartments.
The little printed out notice left on my door basically told me if I'm not out by the end of the month, that my next month's rent if I'm still here will be an additional $75. I'm barely making our current monthly rent and if I'm not out by the end of the month, I need to find an extra $75. Maybe I'll magically fart it out.
As if I'm not stressed out and depressed enough because job hunting is not going well along with everything else we've been going through the last couple of months with Convergys trying to deny me unemployment while I'm job hunting, and apartment hunting's not going well because I can't find something affordable that's also livable, someone else had to find a new way to shit on us.
The little printed out notice left on my door basically told me if I'm not out by the end of the month, that my next month's rent if I'm still here will be an additional $75. I'm barely making our current monthly rent and if I'm not out by the end of the month, I need to find an extra $75. Maybe I'll magically fart it out.
As if I'm not stressed out and depressed enough because job hunting is not going well along with everything else we've been going through the last couple of months with Convergys trying to deny me unemployment while I'm job hunting, and apartment hunting's not going well because I can't find something affordable that's also livable, someone else had to find a new way to shit on us.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Insomnia & Depression
Insomnia and depression are not a lovely combination. When I sleep, I'm not sleeping well. My brain won't turn off. I keep going over and over in my head what's wrong with me and what can I try to do better.
I couldn't even just relax on mother's day. Cherokee gave me this little plaque/award thing for being a great mom thanking me for all I do and all I will do. But it just made me sad because I feel like I'm failing her.
For unemployment purposes, I'm required to apply to at least 4 different places a week. I've been applying to 6. And all I'm getting is rejection after rejection after rejection. Most don't bother to even respond to my application. Others send me a little e-mail saying the position is either closed, filled or I'm just not what they're looking for. It's simply rejection after rejection after rejection.
How is a person supposed to keep their head up when the world does nothing but reject them?
So I find myself sitting here at 5am, running through my head where I should apply next. I suppose I could take a pill. That will at least put me to sleep for a couple of hours, but I hate to medicate myself to sleep.
Maybe I should try shortening my resume some how. Maybe a page and a half long resume is too long. Maybe I'm filling out the applications too perfectly. Maybe I should try deliberately misspelling a few things. Maybe I should try to applying to 8 places a week instead of 6. Am I coming across too confident? Am I not coming across confident enough? I don't know.
I couldn't even just relax on mother's day. Cherokee gave me this little plaque/award thing for being a great mom thanking me for all I do and all I will do. But it just made me sad because I feel like I'm failing her.
For unemployment purposes, I'm required to apply to at least 4 different places a week. I've been applying to 6. And all I'm getting is rejection after rejection after rejection. Most don't bother to even respond to my application. Others send me a little e-mail saying the position is either closed, filled or I'm just not what they're looking for. It's simply rejection after rejection after rejection.
How is a person supposed to keep their head up when the world does nothing but reject them?
So I find myself sitting here at 5am, running through my head where I should apply next. I suppose I could take a pill. That will at least put me to sleep for a couple of hours, but I hate to medicate myself to sleep.
Maybe I should try shortening my resume some how. Maybe a page and a half long resume is too long. Maybe I'm filling out the applications too perfectly. Maybe I should try deliberately misspelling a few things. Maybe I should try to applying to 8 places a week instead of 6. Am I coming across too confident? Am I not coming across confident enough? I don't know.
Monday, May 5, 2014
That Didn't Take Long
I had my interview on Thursday for a job I really wanted and I know I would be good at because I enjoy jobs where I get to help people and make a difference. But my denial letter was in the mail today, Monday. I think for me to have gotten it so soon, they must have mailed it immediately after my interview. It doesn't even say why they didn't chose me. Just that they chose someone else.
I'm absolutely heart broken. I tried not to get my hopes up. I tried not to feel like I had a chance because I know my luck. If it wasn't for bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all.
I also got a letter from unemployment confirming Convergys's failure to confirm the hearing and that they have 10 business days to appeal again before the judge's decision becomes final. So now I'm just waiting to see what else will go wrong as I continue to beg for a job and watch my savings trickle away.
So any other suggestions on what to do next would be appreciated. It just can't be for any type of a call center. I can't do that again. I don't know how I stuck out nearly three years at Convergys. Silly me, I thought I might be able to have a career there.
I don't wanna cry any more. I'm tired of crying and I'm tired of hating myself and my life. It's not fair. I try so damn hard and I can't seem to get a head in any way shape or form. I'm always having my legs swept from underneath me and my heart ripped out. It's times like this when I wonder why I keep trying. It doesn't ever seem to do me any good. God is simply not a Renetta fan.
And since I can't find anything good to say right now, I'm going to try to destress with some writing and drawing.
I'm absolutely heart broken. I tried not to get my hopes up. I tried not to feel like I had a chance because I know my luck. If it wasn't for bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all.
I also got a letter from unemployment confirming Convergys's failure to confirm the hearing and that they have 10 business days to appeal again before the judge's decision becomes final. So now I'm just waiting to see what else will go wrong as I continue to beg for a job and watch my savings trickle away.
So any other suggestions on what to do next would be appreciated. It just can't be for any type of a call center. I can't do that again. I don't know how I stuck out nearly three years at Convergys. Silly me, I thought I might be able to have a career there.
I don't wanna cry any more. I'm tired of crying and I'm tired of hating myself and my life. It's not fair. I try so damn hard and I can't seem to get a head in any way shape or form. I'm always having my legs swept from underneath me and my heart ripped out. It's times like this when I wonder why I keep trying. It doesn't ever seem to do me any good. God is simply not a Renetta fan.
And since I can't find anything good to say right now, I'm going to try to destress with some writing and drawing.
Friday, May 2, 2014
Bewildered & Relieved
Holy Cow! I find myself sitting in my apartment, bewildered and relieved. My hearing for Convergys's contestation for receiving unemployment was scheduled for 8am Monday morning and I was all ready for battle. I had my war paint on and had lawyered-up. I don't have much, but I wasn't just going to lay down and let them walk all over me. I've already spent the last several months being tortured by my Team Lead. I swear the man was trying to get me to quit because he didn't have a good reason to fire me.
So I had a pow-wow with my attorney as scheduled and went over what would happen Monday morning. The most wonderful affidavid was submitted by one of my former Team Leads where he compared working at Convergys to being in prison and explained some of the unrealistic expectations that are placed upon employees there. Yet he explained that I always did my best to try to meet all of the expectations for doing my job, and I did. Thank you, BJ.
I was ready to describe how on the day I was discharged I had been summoned to the CRG lounge and found myself walking into a room full of male Team Leads. They were talking and laughing about something, and went silent the moment I stepped into the room. I was so frightened, I almost turned around and walked back out. They all stepped out of the room except for my Team Lead, but they didn't go back to their desks. They stayed outside the door of the CRG lounge and I could hear them snickering and laughing. It was very disconcerting. Something hinkey was going on and I was very uncomfortable. Only one extra Team Lead was needed to walk me out because my Team Lead had recently had surgery on his foot and couldn't do it himself. Six extra men were not necessary.
My TL asked me if I knew what was going on and I replied that I was being fired. It had become an inevitable fact that I was going to be fired shortly after I was assigned my new TL. He began threatening to fire me my second coaching with him. He threatened to fire me pretty darn close to at least once a week. I couldn't do a thing right in the man's eyes. About every other week, he would pull me into a coaching where he would rip me apart and I would return to my seat in tears. It became a regular thing to see crying on the call floor. And I think he was deliberately miscoaching me by telling me not to worry about getting the customers' accounts noted properly, and don't worry about filling out the call tracker. When I told him something was wrong with my systems, that I couldn't walk through the door and when I clicked the guidelines I was receiving ACE guidelines instead of CRG guidelines, he told me to stop making excuses. How am I supposed to have a proper save rate when I'm not getting CRG offers for the customers, just ACE offers?
I was so ready to share all this and more with the judge. I came home from my meeting with my attorney and I was trying to relax which is very hard to do when you're scrambling to find a new job and keep yourself and your daughter from becoming homeless. Then a couple of hours later, I got a call from my attorney. Convergys had failed to call in to the appeals unit for unemployment and confirm their participation in the hearing Monday morning. Which means I win by default. I get to keep my unemployment until I either find a new job or it runs out. Let's hope I get the job I interviewed for yesterday. I think it would be a perfect fit for me.
So I find myself relieved, bewildered and a little confuse. I don't know for sure what was going on with all those TLs outside the CRG lounge snickering and laughing as I was being terminated. My guess is that they had a bet going with my TL that I would fall apart in some way when I was discharged. I think they were waiting for me to cry and beg for my job, but I didn't. I wanted to stomp on the foot he had just had surgery on, but I didn't. I wanted to punch him in the balls, but I didn't.
I don't really remember much accept that there was no real discussion about why I was being fired. I did remind him that I had just sold a bundle the previous week and my stats were improving, but he said it was too little too late. I signed the paper. There was a place for a comment and I wrote something about doing my best and that if my best wasn't good enough, then that was Convergys's loss. I remember him staring at me expectantly. He was waiting for something, but I don't know what he was waiting for. I was uncomfortable. I had just been fired for the first time in my life. I didn't know what he wanted.
I just knew one thing, he was not going to make me cry in front of all those yeahoos outside the lounge laughing at me. I think since anything I wanted to do would get me arrested for assault, I gave him some sort of compliment. I honestly have no idea what came out of my mouth accept that whatever it was wasn't something a sane person would say. I'm sure it expressed my temporary insanity whatever it was. I do remember him saying he would call me, but I wasn't dumb enough to believe that. I trust that man about as far as I can throw him.
My attorney said Convergys could still come back and re-institute the appeal against me getting unemployment, but that they better have a very good excuse as to why they didn't call and confirm their participation and let him know right away if they give me anymore trouble. Here's hoping that at least this much is all over and I can just focus on finding a new job and taking care of us.
Keep us in your prayers and many blessing your way for doing so.
So I had a pow-wow with my attorney as scheduled and went over what would happen Monday morning. The most wonderful affidavid was submitted by one of my former Team Leads where he compared working at Convergys to being in prison and explained some of the unrealistic expectations that are placed upon employees there. Yet he explained that I always did my best to try to meet all of the expectations for doing my job, and I did. Thank you, BJ.
I was ready to describe how on the day I was discharged I had been summoned to the CRG lounge and found myself walking into a room full of male Team Leads. They were talking and laughing about something, and went silent the moment I stepped into the room. I was so frightened, I almost turned around and walked back out. They all stepped out of the room except for my Team Lead, but they didn't go back to their desks. They stayed outside the door of the CRG lounge and I could hear them snickering and laughing. It was very disconcerting. Something hinkey was going on and I was very uncomfortable. Only one extra Team Lead was needed to walk me out because my Team Lead had recently had surgery on his foot and couldn't do it himself. Six extra men were not necessary.
My TL asked me if I knew what was going on and I replied that I was being fired. It had become an inevitable fact that I was going to be fired shortly after I was assigned my new TL. He began threatening to fire me my second coaching with him. He threatened to fire me pretty darn close to at least once a week. I couldn't do a thing right in the man's eyes. About every other week, he would pull me into a coaching where he would rip me apart and I would return to my seat in tears. It became a regular thing to see crying on the call floor. And I think he was deliberately miscoaching me by telling me not to worry about getting the customers' accounts noted properly, and don't worry about filling out the call tracker. When I told him something was wrong with my systems, that I couldn't walk through the door and when I clicked the guidelines I was receiving ACE guidelines instead of CRG guidelines, he told me to stop making excuses. How am I supposed to have a proper save rate when I'm not getting CRG offers for the customers, just ACE offers?
I was so ready to share all this and more with the judge. I came home from my meeting with my attorney and I was trying to relax which is very hard to do when you're scrambling to find a new job and keep yourself and your daughter from becoming homeless. Then a couple of hours later, I got a call from my attorney. Convergys had failed to call in to the appeals unit for unemployment and confirm their participation in the hearing Monday morning. Which means I win by default. I get to keep my unemployment until I either find a new job or it runs out. Let's hope I get the job I interviewed for yesterday. I think it would be a perfect fit for me.
So I find myself relieved, bewildered and a little confuse. I don't know for sure what was going on with all those TLs outside the CRG lounge snickering and laughing as I was being terminated. My guess is that they had a bet going with my TL that I would fall apart in some way when I was discharged. I think they were waiting for me to cry and beg for my job, but I didn't. I wanted to stomp on the foot he had just had surgery on, but I didn't. I wanted to punch him in the balls, but I didn't.
I don't really remember much accept that there was no real discussion about why I was being fired. I did remind him that I had just sold a bundle the previous week and my stats were improving, but he said it was too little too late. I signed the paper. There was a place for a comment and I wrote something about doing my best and that if my best wasn't good enough, then that was Convergys's loss. I remember him staring at me expectantly. He was waiting for something, but I don't know what he was waiting for. I was uncomfortable. I had just been fired for the first time in my life. I didn't know what he wanted.
I just knew one thing, he was not going to make me cry in front of all those yeahoos outside the lounge laughing at me. I think since anything I wanted to do would get me arrested for assault, I gave him some sort of compliment. I honestly have no idea what came out of my mouth accept that whatever it was wasn't something a sane person would say. I'm sure it expressed my temporary insanity whatever it was. I do remember him saying he would call me, but I wasn't dumb enough to believe that. I trust that man about as far as I can throw him.
My attorney said Convergys could still come back and re-institute the appeal against me getting unemployment, but that they better have a very good excuse as to why they didn't call and confirm their participation and let him know right away if they give me anymore trouble. Here's hoping that at least this much is all over and I can just focus on finding a new job and taking care of us.
Keep us in your prayers and many blessing your way for doing so.
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Crazy Idiot
I am currently sitting in my apartment at Orchard Cove in Roy looking like a crazy nut job and my loving daughter has declared me an idiot.
I have a job interview tomorrow that I am very anxious about because I really want the job. But having lost my job with Convergys, all we have coming in is Cherokee's SSI and my unemployment for now. Which means there's no extra money for me to go blow on my hair and a facial to help take the edge off my nervousness because I want to look my best on top of exude confidence and competence.
I know I can do the job, but they don't know that yet. And if there's some aspect of the job I don't know how to do, I can learn it as long as it doesn't involve me trying to sell stuff to people they don't want and can't afford.
So I decided to give myself a hot oil treatment. Except I didn't go out and by any special product for that. I have extra virgin olive oil in the kitchen. I warmed some of that up in the microwave, applied it to my hair and covered it with a cheap silver conditioning cap. Cherokee came into the kitchen as I was putting the warm oil on my hair. She said it's food and therefore should not be put on one's hair and thus dubbed me an idiot.
I tried to explain it's oil and it will work just as well as any of those little expensive tubes that say hot oil treatment, but she didn't believe me so I'm still an idiot.
So I'm sitting here with extra virgin olive oil in my hair, covered by a silver conditioning cap that looks as if I'm trying to keep space aliens from reading my mind. Plus, I have a pore strip across my nose. If aliens did suddenly appear in my living room, they would probably be frighten into never returning to Earth. Good thing I don't have a boyfriend because I am so not sexy right now, just crazy looking.
Wish me luck on my interview and keep us in your prayers.
I have a job interview tomorrow that I am very anxious about because I really want the job. But having lost my job with Convergys, all we have coming in is Cherokee's SSI and my unemployment for now. Which means there's no extra money for me to go blow on my hair and a facial to help take the edge off my nervousness because I want to look my best on top of exude confidence and competence.
I know I can do the job, but they don't know that yet. And if there's some aspect of the job I don't know how to do, I can learn it as long as it doesn't involve me trying to sell stuff to people they don't want and can't afford.
So I decided to give myself a hot oil treatment. Except I didn't go out and by any special product for that. I have extra virgin olive oil in the kitchen. I warmed some of that up in the microwave, applied it to my hair and covered it with a cheap silver conditioning cap. Cherokee came into the kitchen as I was putting the warm oil on my hair. She said it's food and therefore should not be put on one's hair and thus dubbed me an idiot.
I tried to explain it's oil and it will work just as well as any of those little expensive tubes that say hot oil treatment, but she didn't believe me so I'm still an idiot.
So I'm sitting here with extra virgin olive oil in my hair, covered by a silver conditioning cap that looks as if I'm trying to keep space aliens from reading my mind. Plus, I have a pore strip across my nose. If aliens did suddenly appear in my living room, they would probably be frighten into never returning to Earth. Good thing I don't have a boyfriend because I am so not sexy right now, just crazy looking.
Wish me luck on my interview and keep us in your prayers.
Friday, April 25, 2014
Exhaustion
Exhaustion basically comes in three forms: mental, emotional and physical. My current state of exhaustion is mostly mental and emotional. I'm having trouble keeping up with myself. Go here do this. Go there do that. Take this phone call. Make that phone call. Run back home. Run back out. Follow up on this job lead. Follow up on that job lead. Put in an application here. Put in an application there. Check out this housing project. Check that housing project. Apply some more!
I'm beginning to think living under a bridge may not be such a bad idea. I'm totally ready to reject society. It's not like I'm a full fledged participating member of society anyway. I have a tendency to keep to myself. And in an apartment complex like this, there's a lot of turn over. I think it's the wall to wall carpet. I hate wall to wall carpet. It holds odors and germs. It's cheap and disgusting, yuck.
But it doesn't look like we have a lot of choices right now. And I hate the idea of my washer and drier sitting in storage somewhere going unused for a year or more if we get stuck in a housing project. Their apartments don't have washer and drier hook-ups. That's such a waist of money. I'll have to pay for storage and put money into machines every night to wash and dry Cherokee's clothes. And it'll be me that will end up running over to the laundry room for her every night. Can't have her running outside wrapped in a couple of towels to wash clothes because she won't wear anything she's not comfortable in.
Going to try to take it easy for the weekend. Hoping and praying a job I really want comes through for me. Before I have to move into a housing project.
Monday, April 21, 2014
Leprosy
I seem to have developed leprosy again. It happened after my mom tried to kill me. No one wanted me nor my children around. They stopped taking my phone calls, stopped returning them and asked us to stay away because they were afraid my mother would come after them for being friends with me. Even my church asked me not to come anymore for fear she would show up and kill me on church property which would bring bad publicity to the church and someone else may get hurt while she was killing me. I understood. I wished I could run and hide from myself at that time too.
But it still hurt to have people you've known most of your life turn their back on you when you didn't do a thing wrong. I hadn't tried to harm anyone. My children have never harmed anyone else. But neighbors didn't want their children playing with mine. Yet I think it was the church's reaction that hurt me the most. I'm not angry. I understand. But it still hurts. To have bad publicity mentioned as one of their reasons for me to stay away, I think the missionaries who found me and baptised me would be ashamed. I often wonder what became of Peter and Troy. But I've had so many struggles and trials, I didn't manage to keep in touch with them.
But I seem to have contracted leprosy again. I spent today calling and leaving messages for anyone I thought may have some kind of experience that could help us. As of yet, no one has returned my calls. I find that in these situations, people tell themselves that someone else will help. Problem is, everyone is thinking that someone else will help and then no one helps. Our first instinct is to protect ourselves and I understand that. It just makes me sad. I hate finding myself alone with no one willing to help because they're too scared. It's why I hate crowds.
You can be out in public in a big crowd of people in broad daylight and be no safer than if you were alone in a dark alley. I'll take the dark alley thank you. In the dark alley I might find a place to hide. Out in that crowd in broad daylight, you can be raped and/or murdered and no one will stop to help. They'll just keep on walking, pretending they don't see and telling themselves, someone else will help.
It's been my experience that no one stops to help. As they take away the body, people always asks, why didn't anyone help? Self preservation, it's our instinct to protect ourselves first. It's why we're astounded when someone goes above and beyond to help a total stranger because it goes against that instinct to protect ourselves. It's a hard instinct to fight and most of us obey it. I've certainly obeyed it. Not proud of that but it's the truth. I froze and didn't try to help. I knew what to do, but just couldn't make myself do it.
Or maybe it's just Monday and everyone was just too busy to get back to me. I think yesterday was Easter. But I don't have the time or the money to waste on holidays right now. Easter Bunny didn't find us. It's not the first time. Santa has passed us by before too. There's no rest for the weary and I'm not getting any rest. I'll try not to torture myself like last night and take a pill tonight since I still have some. Too bad there's less than a half a bottle left. The pill helps me fall to sleep but it doesn't keep me asleep. So I'll probably only sleep for two hours, then I'll be back up. So if you find yourself sleepless, don't be afraid to give me a call.
But it still hurt to have people you've known most of your life turn their back on you when you didn't do a thing wrong. I hadn't tried to harm anyone. My children have never harmed anyone else. But neighbors didn't want their children playing with mine. Yet I think it was the church's reaction that hurt me the most. I'm not angry. I understand. But it still hurts. To have bad publicity mentioned as one of their reasons for me to stay away, I think the missionaries who found me and baptised me would be ashamed. I often wonder what became of Peter and Troy. But I've had so many struggles and trials, I didn't manage to keep in touch with them.
But I seem to have contracted leprosy again. I spent today calling and leaving messages for anyone I thought may have some kind of experience that could help us. As of yet, no one has returned my calls. I find that in these situations, people tell themselves that someone else will help. Problem is, everyone is thinking that someone else will help and then no one helps. Our first instinct is to protect ourselves and I understand that. It just makes me sad. I hate finding myself alone with no one willing to help because they're too scared. It's why I hate crowds.
You can be out in public in a big crowd of people in broad daylight and be no safer than if you were alone in a dark alley. I'll take the dark alley thank you. In the dark alley I might find a place to hide. Out in that crowd in broad daylight, you can be raped and/or murdered and no one will stop to help. They'll just keep on walking, pretending they don't see and telling themselves, someone else will help.
It's been my experience that no one stops to help. As they take away the body, people always asks, why didn't anyone help? Self preservation, it's our instinct to protect ourselves first. It's why we're astounded when someone goes above and beyond to help a total stranger because it goes against that instinct to protect ourselves. It's a hard instinct to fight and most of us obey it. I've certainly obeyed it. Not proud of that but it's the truth. I froze and didn't try to help. I knew what to do, but just couldn't make myself do it.
Or maybe it's just Monday and everyone was just too busy to get back to me. I think yesterday was Easter. But I don't have the time or the money to waste on holidays right now. Easter Bunny didn't find us. It's not the first time. Santa has passed us by before too. There's no rest for the weary and I'm not getting any rest. I'll try not to torture myself like last night and take a pill tonight since I still have some. Too bad there's less than a half a bottle left. The pill helps me fall to sleep but it doesn't keep me asleep. So I'll probably only sleep for two hours, then I'll be back up. So if you find yourself sleepless, don't be afraid to give me a call.
Saturday, April 19, 2014
Today's Task
Today we got to drive around and check out different subsidized housing projects. I like to drive but this was not an enjoyable drive especially since we weren't going anywhere Cherokee would like to go like the library. Yes, to Cherokee, a trip to the library is an exciting thing she really loves and enjoys. That's about as much excitement as she can take without being overwhelmed. And she admitted she is overwhelmed by this whole experience.
But I needed her with me as I drove from project to project because she notices things I don't sometimes. She likes to eat so she notices if there's a grocery store within walking distance. She doesn't drive so if I'm too sick to drive, she may need to walk to the grocery store on her own. It has happened at least once. I learned the hard way with that one to be careful how I word things with her. She asked about if she came across something she really wanted, could she get it. I thought she meant grocery wise because I was sending her to the grocery store. So I said sure thinking maybe she might grab a bag of chips or something of that nature. I didn't expect her to return with hundred dollars with of DVDs.
The different housing projects we went by today seemed to be in good condition from what I could see from the outside. Of course with it being Saturday, no one was in the offices to answer questions. But I did stop a couple of residents. Seems there are no washer and drier hook-ups, something very important to us because Cherokee wears pretty much the same outfit everyday. It's an Asberger's thing. When they're comfortable with something it's hard to get them to give it up for something else. So I need a washer and drier hook-up for our washer and drier because going to the laundry every night would suck. With the washer and drier in our home, she can wash and dry her favorite outfit every night herself.
This may seem like bizarre behavior, but for someone with Asberger's it's not unusually. She had a favorite blanket when she was very small that she carried constantly. I thought she would carry it off to kindergarten. Then she got attached to a jacket of all things for a while and carried it around just like she did the blanket. She even slept with the jacket.
It's certainly never boring being the parent of special needs individuals. She does currently have a favorite blanket. But she doesn't feel the need to carry it around everywhere like when she was little. But she likes to hold it to her face as she sucks her thumb when she's overwhelmed, and she's currently doing just that as she's back in her room isolating herself to try to recover from my dragging her around from housing project to housing project.
A couple of them I couldn't find and I'm very good with maps and directions. A couple didn't have good access to public transportation, something that's very important not just for someone with special needs like my daughter who doesn't drive. But for those of us with frequently breaking down vehicles because we can't afford a decent one and may occasionally go a couple of years with out our own vehicle.
I'm going to try to relax tomorrow since it is Sunday. But it's hard to relax. Not when I know Convergys is just waiting to stomp me into the ground and make sure we're homeless and destitute. I have no experience to help me with this and I'm expecting the worse. I wish I had never walked into that job fair day for them. I've never had a job before Convergys leave me so constantly stressed out and chink away my self-esteem a piece at a time. I've got to rebuild my life and myself from the ground up and Convergys seems determined to make it as difficult as possible.
Friday, April 18, 2014
Failure
I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle, like I should just accept the fact that I'm meant to be perpetually poor, never have a home of my own and just accept that I'm meant to sleep under a bridge and not a roof.
I spent the day trapped in the apartment with the lease that expires next month. The Exploder was in the shop all day. The last thing I need right now are car problems on top of everything else.
I wish I had my daughter's confidence in me. She's positive some way, some how I'm going to manage to pull us thru this. But I think she's wrong this time. The unemployment is $233 a week before tax. But if Convergys wins their appeal, I'll be required to pay it back. I don't know what I'm supposed to pay it back with without a job yet. I don't even know where we'll be living after May, if we'll be living anywhere specific.
Cherokee thinks she can cope with living out of the back of the Exploder if it comes to that, but I don't think she can. If it was just me, I could cope with living out of the back of the Exploder if I had to. But my daughter doesn't deserve that. Just like the children we saw don't deserve to live in those run down smelly old apartments breathing black-moldy air as they sleep at night.
I'm such I big freaking failure. My children deserve so much better than me, but I'm what they're stuck with. I don't know why they love me. I'm certainly not worthy of their love.
I spent the day trapped in the apartment with the lease that expires next month. The Exploder was in the shop all day. The last thing I need right now are car problems on top of everything else.
I wish I had my daughter's confidence in me. She's positive some way, some how I'm going to manage to pull us thru this. But I think she's wrong this time. The unemployment is $233 a week before tax. But if Convergys wins their appeal, I'll be required to pay it back. I don't know what I'm supposed to pay it back with without a job yet. I don't even know where we'll be living after May, if we'll be living anywhere specific.
Cherokee thinks she can cope with living out of the back of the Exploder if it comes to that, but I don't think she can. If it was just me, I could cope with living out of the back of the Exploder if I had to. But my daughter doesn't deserve that. Just like the children we saw don't deserve to live in those run down smelly old apartments breathing black-moldy air as they sleep at night.
I'm such I big freaking failure. My children deserve so much better than me, but I'm what they're stuck with. I don't know why they love me. I'm certainly not worthy of their love.
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
My Brain Hurts.
I have come to the conclusion that there are certain things that one should not be trying to do all at once. Like trying to find a new job and a new place at the same time. To top it all off, my Exploder has developed an oil leak. And because of the way the darn thing is put together, I'm looking at about $1200 to have it fixed properly. I'll check with a couple of different shops and get the best deal I can get on it, but this is just one more thing that I didn't need right now. I've got too much on my plate as it is.
My brain feels like jello, warm goopy jello that's growing a bit of mold. If I was a person with a weaker sense of self, I'ld be drunk right now. But no, I'm sober and being a good girl when all I want to do is run away and hide from all of this. And I can't even get a decent hot shower to relax in where I live at for the moment. If we don't find something soon, I don't know where we'll be after the end of May. And I don't want to burden anyone with us.
I think that saying that the Lord doesn't give you more than you can bear is a load of crap. I cannot think of any scriptures that verifies that. I think I need to put this down. Normally this is a good way for me to vent but my head is splitting. I've survived to skull fractures and I usually have a dull headache that I'm used to living with. But this is unbearable. It's like something is trying to pry my skull open from the inside out.
Keep us in your prayers.
My brain feels like jello, warm goopy jello that's growing a bit of mold. If I was a person with a weaker sense of self, I'ld be drunk right now. But no, I'm sober and being a good girl when all I want to do is run away and hide from all of this. And I can't even get a decent hot shower to relax in where I live at for the moment. If we don't find something soon, I don't know where we'll be after the end of May. And I don't want to burden anyone with us.
I think that saying that the Lord doesn't give you more than you can bear is a load of crap. I cannot think of any scriptures that verifies that. I think I need to put this down. Normally this is a good way for me to vent but my head is splitting. I've survived to skull fractures and I usually have a dull headache that I'm used to living with. But this is unbearable. It's like something is trying to pry my skull open from the inside out.
Keep us in your prayers.
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Silently Screaming
I feel like I've slipped off into a third world country. I've been looking at the cheapest places I can find which are technically still over our new budget and I feeling like they should pay me to live there. Carpets so nasty the sight makes you want to puke. Black mold creeping out around the edges of the bathtub. Not to mention the smell. And who the hell puts Linoleum meant for floors on walls around a bathtub? And metal sheeting instead of calk around a bathtub? A stove that is obviously broken and can't be cooked on.
These places aren't even safe for people to live in yet they're charging people $575 and $600 a month to live there. And there are small children living in these places. My daughter is twenty-one years old and I tremble at the thought we might have to live in one of these places. I don't want to have to move my child with Asberger's into one of these places that don't even make ghetto status. People should be receiving hazard pay for living there and children shouldn't be allowed to live there at all.
I try not to cry when Cherokee is home. I don't want her to be scared, but I'm scared. I don't know what else to do. I could put us on a waiting list for subsidized housing, but there's no telling how long that could take and they're not in the habit of calling you and informing you when you've been denied so you're not sitting around waiting for a call that will never come.
And aren't there any like health inspectors going around checking these places and making sure they're up to code? I'm not looking for glamorous, just safe and reasonable clean with working appliances. But apparently my expectations are too high. How dare I expect safe and clean with working appliances?
I'm in Hell and no one can hear me screaming.
These places aren't even safe for people to live in yet they're charging people $575 and $600 a month to live there. And there are small children living in these places. My daughter is twenty-one years old and I tremble at the thought we might have to live in one of these places. I don't want to have to move my child with Asberger's into one of these places that don't even make ghetto status. People should be receiving hazard pay for living there and children shouldn't be allowed to live there at all.
I try not to cry when Cherokee is home. I don't want her to be scared, but I'm scared. I don't know what else to do. I could put us on a waiting list for subsidized housing, but there's no telling how long that could take and they're not in the habit of calling you and informing you when you've been denied so you're not sitting around waiting for a call that will never come.
And aren't there any like health inspectors going around checking these places and making sure they're up to code? I'm not looking for glamorous, just safe and reasonable clean with working appliances. But apparently my expectations are too high. How dare I expect safe and clean with working appliances?
I'm in Hell and no one can hear me screaming.
Sunday, April 13, 2014
Give Me a Break!
I don't know what it is about me, but I can't catch a break. Convergys is appealing the fact that I was awarded unemployment. It wasn't enough to knock me down and shove me into the dirt. You don't want me as an employee, fine. But while I'm down, they need to kick me too. Don't forget to put steal toed boots on first. You want to make sure I can't get back up. Maybe it's time I started looking for an attorney. Because I don't think this is fair. All I want to do at this point is move forward with my life.
This is why I doubt God exist. Or if He does, He doesn't like me. I can't catch a break. No matter where I go or what I do, someone or something is always getting in the way of me just providing a decent life for my family. I'm not looking for a hand out. I've never gotten unemployment before. But I do need a little help getting over the hump while I find a new job and cheaper place to live.
Crap, I just want to work, provide well for my family, do a good job at work, occasionally get recognized for my hard work and dedication, and be given the fair opportunity to move up and improve myself and my life. Is that an unreasonable expectation?
This is why I doubt God exist. Or if He does, He doesn't like me. I can't catch a break. No matter where I go or what I do, someone or something is always getting in the way of me just providing a decent life for my family. I'm not looking for a hand out. I've never gotten unemployment before. But I do need a little help getting over the hump while I find a new job and cheaper place to live.
Crap, I just want to work, provide well for my family, do a good job at work, occasionally get recognized for my hard work and dedication, and be given the fair opportunity to move up and improve myself and my life. Is that an unreasonable expectation?
Saturday, April 12, 2014
Challenges
I love being a mother and having perfectly normal children is totally over rated. When I share that both of my children are special needs, people always say crap like "Oh, I'm so sorry." Why? I'm not sorry. I love my two knuckle heads just the way they are. They are sweet, kind, loving, generous people.
Of course, it does have it's challenges. For instance, a person with Asberger's like my daughter either really loves something or she's just not interested in it. If she's just not interested in it, forget it. You can't make her do it, not without a whip and chains. So I probably have one of the only people in America that got straight A's when she took Chinese in High School while she failed everything else.
So she's in a special adult education program and she's supposed to have her HS Diploma by May 30th next month. If she screws this up and doesn't get it, I just may string her up by her toes.
My other challenge is trying to keep her happy because I live with her. I don't have to live with her. I could shove her in a home somewhere. People still do that. But I love my daughter and most of the time she's not hard to live with. She understands that we're poor. She understands that I lost my job last month and we need to find a cheaper place to live. She doesn't ask for expensive fancy clothes or shoes. But she wants to be someplace that has a pool.
I love to swim. I really do. But we need to be practical right now. A pool is a luxury we can live without. So she's just going to need to get used to the idea of not having access to one this summer. But it pains me to have to move in somewhere where she won't have access to one. She did use the pool here nearly everyday last summer. Without one all she'll do is spend the whole day on her computer reading. Let's hope we find ourselves within walking distance of a library.
Of course, it does have it's challenges. For instance, a person with Asberger's like my daughter either really loves something or she's just not interested in it. If she's just not interested in it, forget it. You can't make her do it, not without a whip and chains. So I probably have one of the only people in America that got straight A's when she took Chinese in High School while she failed everything else.
So she's in a special adult education program and she's supposed to have her HS Diploma by May 30th next month. If she screws this up and doesn't get it, I just may string her up by her toes.
My other challenge is trying to keep her happy because I live with her. I don't have to live with her. I could shove her in a home somewhere. People still do that. But I love my daughter and most of the time she's not hard to live with. She understands that we're poor. She understands that I lost my job last month and we need to find a cheaper place to live. She doesn't ask for expensive fancy clothes or shoes. But she wants to be someplace that has a pool.
I love to swim. I really do. But we need to be practical right now. A pool is a luxury we can live without. So she's just going to need to get used to the idea of not having access to one this summer. But it pains me to have to move in somewhere where she won't have access to one. She did use the pool here nearly everyday last summer. Without one all she'll do is spend the whole day on her computer reading. Let's hope we find ourselves within walking distance of a library.
Friday, April 11, 2014
Back In Utah Safe and Sound
Cherokee will be so surprised when she gets home. I didn't think I would make it home until late this evening. But I actually beat her home from school. She was so happy when I told her last night that I expected to be home by tonight. She said it's been lonely here all week without me. Apparently her cat Echo just isn't as good a conversationalist as me.
But Echo seems happy to see me. He's rolling over on the floor, showing me his belly and posing for me. You know if he was a cute guy I would rub his belly. But since he's just a cat and I'm not a cat person, he's showing off for me for nothing.
I guess Monday I'll go down to a trailer park in Clearfield that I know does pretty cheap rentals and see what they have available. It's right on a main bus route which Cherokee will like. But there's not going to be a pool like here or anything like that. It's not going to be fancy in any way. But we'll continue to have a roof over our heads and that's what's important.
Where's your Prince Charming on a white horse to save the day when you need him? Heck if he pulled up in a beat up Pinto that would be good enough.
I guess I'll stretch out here on my couch and take a nap. Someone tried to open my driver's door while I was sleeping at a Petro truck stop at 4:45am and I really didn't sleep after that. I had the Exploder running because it got bitterly cold last night. I think they thought I left it running and went inside because no one was in the front seat because I was sleeping in the back. And I would have been hard to see back there because I had some clothes hanging up over the back windows for extra privacy. And I was so cocooned up, I probably just looked like a big pile of blankets in the dark.
I'm glad to be back. I missed my girl. And I even missed Echo a little too. Maybe next year after they've had more time to recover from that flood last Sept, we can try again. I just know at the moment I'm just relieved I'm not one of the people I saw sleeping on the streets of down town Denver. They seem to have a pretty bad homeless problem. And now that I've calmed down and I'm not in panic mode from losing my job, I know we'll be alright.
Keep us in your prayers and God Bless.
But Echo seems happy to see me. He's rolling over on the floor, showing me his belly and posing for me. You know if he was a cute guy I would rub his belly. But since he's just a cat and I'm not a cat person, he's showing off for me for nothing.
I guess Monday I'll go down to a trailer park in Clearfield that I know does pretty cheap rentals and see what they have available. It's right on a main bus route which Cherokee will like. But there's not going to be a pool like here or anything like that. It's not going to be fancy in any way. But we'll continue to have a roof over our heads and that's what's important.
Where's your Prince Charming on a white horse to save the day when you need him? Heck if he pulled up in a beat up Pinto that would be good enough.
I guess I'll stretch out here on my couch and take a nap. Someone tried to open my driver's door while I was sleeping at a Petro truck stop at 4:45am and I really didn't sleep after that. I had the Exploder running because it got bitterly cold last night. I think they thought I left it running and went inside because no one was in the front seat because I was sleeping in the back. And I would have been hard to see back there because I had some clothes hanging up over the back windows for extra privacy. And I was so cocooned up, I probably just looked like a big pile of blankets in the dark.
I'm glad to be back. I missed my girl. And I even missed Echo a little too. Maybe next year after they've had more time to recover from that flood last Sept, we can try again. I just know at the moment I'm just relieved I'm not one of the people I saw sleeping on the streets of down town Denver. They seem to have a pretty bad homeless problem. And now that I've calmed down and I'm not in panic mode from losing my job, I know we'll be alright.
Keep us in your prayers and God Bless.
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Bad Timing
I just must be one of those people with perpetual bad timing jumbled in with if I didn't have bad luck, I would have no luck at all.
I came here to Thornton, CO for a job interview and I aced the interview and got sent for a drug test. I know the drug test will come back spotless. My fix for that is don't do drugs. And I won't eat anything with poppy seeds, it'll make you test positive for opium.
So all I needed to go with my new job is a new place. Except there was a flood just last September and all the 13,000 plus people who lost their homes to the flood have taken all the affordable rentals. And home owner's insurance never moves fast enough in situations like this. And if they didn't have flood as part of their home owner's insurance, then they're screwed.
What this means for me, is any rental that is available is way outside of my price range. Everything in my price range has a two to five year waiting list. So it looks like I'm going to stay put in Utah for another year. I'm still going to need to move by the end of May. We can't afford to keep our current apartment on just Cherokee's SSI and a little unemployment for me while I continue to job hunt.
Last time I lost a job in Utah, I was laid off and it took me 2 stinking years to find that crummy job at Convergys that I hated. Heavenly Parents please, don't put me through that again. So I guess what I'm hoping to do at this point is maybe with the help of the manager at the Home Depot here, I can start at a Home Depot in Utah and then in a year's time, maybe things will be more back to normal in the Thornton, CO area rental wise and I can transfer and relocate then. Sound like a plan?
If you have any better ideas, let me know. And no it can't involve me moving back to Ohio. Luv U Fred. Keep us in your prayers.
I came here to Thornton, CO for a job interview and I aced the interview and got sent for a drug test. I know the drug test will come back spotless. My fix for that is don't do drugs. And I won't eat anything with poppy seeds, it'll make you test positive for opium.
So all I needed to go with my new job is a new place. Except there was a flood just last September and all the 13,000 plus people who lost their homes to the flood have taken all the affordable rentals. And home owner's insurance never moves fast enough in situations like this. And if they didn't have flood as part of their home owner's insurance, then they're screwed.
What this means for me, is any rental that is available is way outside of my price range. Everything in my price range has a two to five year waiting list. So it looks like I'm going to stay put in Utah for another year. I'm still going to need to move by the end of May. We can't afford to keep our current apartment on just Cherokee's SSI and a little unemployment for me while I continue to job hunt.
Last time I lost a job in Utah, I was laid off and it took me 2 stinking years to find that crummy job at Convergys that I hated. Heavenly Parents please, don't put me through that again. So I guess what I'm hoping to do at this point is maybe with the help of the manager at the Home Depot here, I can start at a Home Depot in Utah and then in a year's time, maybe things will be more back to normal in the Thornton, CO area rental wise and I can transfer and relocate then. Sound like a plan?
If you have any better ideas, let me know. And no it can't involve me moving back to Ohio. Luv U Fred. Keep us in your prayers.
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Brain Drain
I think I know why some people never relocated and stay right where they were born and raised. Trying to relocate is a booger. I'm not doing that badly at finding my way around. But finding an affordable rental is like finding a needle in a hay stack. I don't need a lot of fanciness. I'm not really expecting anything fancy at all. I just need two bedrooms and let my disabled daughter keep her dang cat. Yet I can't seem to find anything affordable. Same problem in Utah, but it's different when you're working full-time. I haven't officially been hired by Home Depot yet and when I start, I'll only be part-time to begin with. So I need something reasonable, around $500mo so we can eat too.
Dang, I so need to learn to absorb nutrients out of the air so I won't need to buy food.
I don't know how anyone can afford a place that's $1200-$1500mo, and I'm house hunting outside the city limits. My brain is on fire. But for the most part, most people have been very friendly here and most have tried to be helpful. But right now I am so discouraged.
On the brighter side, I slept in a WalMart parking lot last night. Before I bedded down for the night in the back of the Exploder, I went in and bought a couple of extra blanket and I slept very well last night. Didn't have to get up to start the Exploder for heat once. I need to find a truck stop tonight so I can get a shower.
Things you want to have with you when you're living out of your vehicle: Disinfecting/anti-bacterial wipes, toilet paper (sometimes a rest area is out), and of course you want to have things like deodorant, toothpaste, toothbrush, clean underwear. And you want to be friendly and outgoing. Keep us in your prayers.
Dang, I so need to learn to absorb nutrients out of the air so I won't need to buy food.
I don't know how anyone can afford a place that's $1200-$1500mo, and I'm house hunting outside the city limits. My brain is on fire. But for the most part, most people have been very friendly here and most have tried to be helpful. But right now I am so discouraged.
On the brighter side, I slept in a WalMart parking lot last night. Before I bedded down for the night in the back of the Exploder, I went in and bought a couple of extra blanket and I slept very well last night. Didn't have to get up to start the Exploder for heat once. I need to find a truck stop tonight so I can get a shower.
Things you want to have with you when you're living out of your vehicle: Disinfecting/anti-bacterial wipes, toilet paper (sometimes a rest area is out), and of course you want to have things like deodorant, toothpaste, toothbrush, clean underwear. And you want to be friendly and outgoing. Keep us in your prayers.
Frustrated
I understand that there have to be rules and regulations. I get that. But when those rules and regulations get in the way of helping someone, there's a problem. I was informed yesterday that a subsidized apartment complex was taking applications for their waiting list. That I could go into their office today, fill out an application and we would be put on their list. What they didn't tell me was all adult household members needed to be present when applying.
My daughter Cherokee is at home in our apartment in Roy. Her last day of school is May 30th which also happens to be when our lease is up. But I didn't see any reason to drag her around with me and have her stuck sleeping in the back of the Exploder with me while I job and apartment hunt in Colorado.
So I was there first thing this morning when they opened there office. I stood in line for an hour to get the application. I filled it out and stood in line for two more hours to turn it back in. I missed a job interview to accomplish this. I finally was at the front handing in my paper work and they refused to take the application because Cherokee isn't with me and it's not like I can just run to the other side of town and grab her. Apparently the federal regulations for this type of HUD housing project requires all adult household members to be physically present when the application is turned in.
I'm so frustrated. I have copies of both our IDs and Social Security Card. I even brought Cherokee's birth certificate with me. I had everything they asked for accept Cherokee there in person. I'm so frustrated. They wouldn't accept our application. I wasted over 4 hours. I was there for over 4 hours to turn in that application and they wouldn't take it.
They need to rethink some of these rules and regulations. The rules and regulations shouldn't keep people from getting the help they need, when they need it.
My daughter Cherokee is at home in our apartment in Roy. Her last day of school is May 30th which also happens to be when our lease is up. But I didn't see any reason to drag her around with me and have her stuck sleeping in the back of the Exploder with me while I job and apartment hunt in Colorado.
So I was there first thing this morning when they opened there office. I stood in line for an hour to get the application. I filled it out and stood in line for two more hours to turn it back in. I missed a job interview to accomplish this. I finally was at the front handing in my paper work and they refused to take the application because Cherokee isn't with me and it's not like I can just run to the other side of town and grab her. Apparently the federal regulations for this type of HUD housing project requires all adult household members to be physically present when the application is turned in.
I'm so frustrated. I have copies of both our IDs and Social Security Card. I even brought Cherokee's birth certificate with me. I had everything they asked for accept Cherokee there in person. I'm so frustrated. They wouldn't accept our application. I wasted over 4 hours. I was there for over 4 hours to turn in that application and they wouldn't take it.
They need to rethink some of these rules and regulations. The rules and regulations shouldn't keep people from getting the help they need, when they need it.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Cold & Scared
Not much in my life ever goes smoothly. I guess most of the big life or death stuff has gone better than could be expected. I was born healthy without complications. I had healthy pregnancies with my two children and gave birth naturally both time without any pain meds.
So hear I am just outside of Denver, CO, be-bopping around trying to get to know the area before my job interview this after noon. My drive over from Utah went smoothly. Still wish the Exploder was better on gas.
I found my self in the Colorado Welcome Center/Rest Area last night. Can't afford a hotel, need to keep gas in the Exploder. It was the first time I ever saw a rest area with signs posting a limit on how long you can park there. I didn't find that very welcoming at all. Despite the lighting, it was still dark enough that I couldn't see the signs properly and I was afraid a police office was going to come along and make me move in the middle of the night. Then I found I had grabbed the wrong sleeping bag, so I had my son's old sleeping bag which is kid sized and it got pretty cold last nigh. I didn't want to waste gas letting the exploder idle through the nigh so I could have heat, but I had to start her up twice in the middle of the night. Plus my daughter didn't answer the phone when I called to check on her last night. Between worrying about my daughter, worrying about being moved along by the police and freezing temperatures with the wrong sleeping bag, I did not sleep well.
I'm so glad to have found a Burger King so I can take advantage of the free Wi-fi.
So everyone wish me luck on my job interviews and on house hunting. Finding an affordable reasonable priced rental is going to be a challenge here. If I get this first job I'm interviewing for, I may find myself with a bit of a commute because it's in a more expensive area than we can afford. Keep us in your prayers.
So hear I am just outside of Denver, CO, be-bopping around trying to get to know the area before my job interview this after noon. My drive over from Utah went smoothly. Still wish the Exploder was better on gas.
I found my self in the Colorado Welcome Center/Rest Area last night. Can't afford a hotel, need to keep gas in the Exploder. It was the first time I ever saw a rest area with signs posting a limit on how long you can park there. I didn't find that very welcoming at all. Despite the lighting, it was still dark enough that I couldn't see the signs properly and I was afraid a police office was going to come along and make me move in the middle of the night. Then I found I had grabbed the wrong sleeping bag, so I had my son's old sleeping bag which is kid sized and it got pretty cold last nigh. I didn't want to waste gas letting the exploder idle through the nigh so I could have heat, but I had to start her up twice in the middle of the night. Plus my daughter didn't answer the phone when I called to check on her last night. Between worrying about my daughter, worrying about being moved along by the police and freezing temperatures with the wrong sleeping bag, I did not sleep well.
I'm so glad to have found a Burger King so I can take advantage of the free Wi-fi.
So everyone wish me luck on my job interviews and on house hunting. Finding an affordable reasonable priced rental is going to be a challenge here. If I get this first job I'm interviewing for, I may find myself with a bit of a commute because it's in a more expensive area than we can afford. Keep us in your prayers.
Friday, April 4, 2014
Love Being A Parent
If you're not a parent, you don't know what you're missing. And if you're one of those people that never wants children, I feel sorry for you.
I love being a mom. I love my children so much. They bring me so much joy and their not even trying. They're just being themselves with all their imperfections and idiosyncrasies.
Today for example. I had to take Cherokee back to the doctor's office. She rarely catches a cold, but right now she has a whopper of a cold. And since she's so rarely sick, she's being a big baby about it.
So when we left the doctor's today, she had a prescription we needed to stop off and get on the way home. Nothing out of the ordinary there. But of course, we have to wait a half hour for the prescription to be ready. Thus, we had a half hour to walk around the CVS and explore.
Cherokee being Cherokee naturally ends up in the isle with all the cookies and stuff. And I'm like no, because the last thing either of our big butts needs is another cookie. But she had some money with her and decided to buy the box of cookies she wanted herself, fine.
The prescription is finally ready and we can finally check out. We're at the check out counter up front and Cherokee is having trouble getting into her purse. She walks in place in a circle as she's trying to get into her purse like a dog chasing it's butt.
I was dying and Cherokee is totally oblivious. She has no idea why I'm laughing my butt off. I don't know how anyone can think there is more fun to be had out there at the bottom of a tequila bottle than there is having your own family and just watching the silly things they do sometimes. I love being a parent and their uninvolved fathers are missing all the fun.
I love being a mom. I love my children so much. They bring me so much joy and their not even trying. They're just being themselves with all their imperfections and idiosyncrasies.
Today for example. I had to take Cherokee back to the doctor's office. She rarely catches a cold, but right now she has a whopper of a cold. And since she's so rarely sick, she's being a big baby about it.
So when we left the doctor's today, she had a prescription we needed to stop off and get on the way home. Nothing out of the ordinary there. But of course, we have to wait a half hour for the prescription to be ready. Thus, we had a half hour to walk around the CVS and explore.
Cherokee being Cherokee naturally ends up in the isle with all the cookies and stuff. And I'm like no, because the last thing either of our big butts needs is another cookie. But she had some money with her and decided to buy the box of cookies she wanted herself, fine.
The prescription is finally ready and we can finally check out. We're at the check out counter up front and Cherokee is having trouble getting into her purse. She walks in place in a circle as she's trying to get into her purse like a dog chasing it's butt.
I was dying and Cherokee is totally oblivious. She has no idea why I'm laughing my butt off. I don't know how anyone can think there is more fun to be had out there at the bottom of a tequila bottle than there is having your own family and just watching the silly things they do sometimes. I love being a parent and their uninvolved fathers are missing all the fun.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
I'm So Excited!
I am so excited. I had a preliminary phone interview for Home Depot this morning and I have a face-to-fave interview scheduled for next week. And not for their call center either, for store operations.
So I'm going to have a 7-10 hour drive to get there, it's in N. Thornton, Colorado. I'm kind of Utahed out right now. I think Chreokee and especially me will do better in an area where there are more converts like ourselves. I just have this little problem with being true to myself. I just don't believe in Fake-It-Till-You-Make It. It's one of the most dishonest philosophies I've ever heard. And I wasn't part of a clique in high school and they just don't belong in church, any church.
Deep breath... I guess it's kind of obvious I've gotten a little frustrated with more than just the job I found myself in, here in Utah.
Having Asberger's Syndrome, a form of Autism, Cherokee isn't always good with change, especially sudden change. But she's excited about this. The only complication I see right now is Chreokee's last day of school is May 30th. And if I'm hired on for Home Depot next week, I'll need a rental unit in that area not too far from my new job. I'm looking at possibly trying to cover rent for 2 place through at least May.
They say Heavenly Father doesn't give you more than you can handle. But I think that's only covers mentally and emotionally. I don't think He's paying attention to finances. I wish I knew someone in the area there, but I don't. I'm flying a bit blind here. But at least I'm not trying to leap across the country without having a job lined up first. I learned a lot from my failed attempt to move to LA that landed me here in Utah instead.
Wish me luck. And keep us in your prayers.
So I'm going to have a 7-10 hour drive to get there, it's in N. Thornton, Colorado. I'm kind of Utahed out right now. I think Chreokee and especially me will do better in an area where there are more converts like ourselves. I just have this little problem with being true to myself. I just don't believe in Fake-It-Till-You-Make It. It's one of the most dishonest philosophies I've ever heard. And I wasn't part of a clique in high school and they just don't belong in church, any church.
Deep breath... I guess it's kind of obvious I've gotten a little frustrated with more than just the job I found myself in, here in Utah.
Having Asberger's Syndrome, a form of Autism, Cherokee isn't always good with change, especially sudden change. But she's excited about this. The only complication I see right now is Chreokee's last day of school is May 30th. And if I'm hired on for Home Depot next week, I'll need a rental unit in that area not too far from my new job. I'm looking at possibly trying to cover rent for 2 place through at least May.
They say Heavenly Father doesn't give you more than you can handle. But I think that's only covers mentally and emotionally. I don't think He's paying attention to finances. I wish I knew someone in the area there, but I don't. I'm flying a bit blind here. But at least I'm not trying to leap across the country without having a job lined up first. I learned a lot from my failed attempt to move to LA that landed me here in Utah instead.
Wish me luck. And keep us in your prayers.
Monday, March 31, 2014
My Therapy
For me writing is a form of therapy. Sometimes it's just a way to vent and get things off my chest without yelling or fussing at anyone. But mostly it's how I escape this world. I can go where ever I want to go. Be whoever I want to be. It's all up to me.
I just finished typing up a short story I call Crotchety. But it's still a little too long for posting on here, but it feels good to know it's finally typed up. I need that dragon program where you speak to the computer and it types for you. When I write, I write by hand with an actual paper and pencil in cursive. Imagine that. But once I've finished writing a story, it needs to be typed up. Between the writing of the story and the typing it up it's not a fast process, but it is a satisfying process.
I just finished typing up a short story I call Crotchety. But it's still a little too long for posting on here, but it feels good to know it's finally typed up. I need that dragon program where you speak to the computer and it types for you. When I write, I write by hand with an actual paper and pencil in cursive. Imagine that. But once I've finished writing a story, it needs to be typed up. Between the writing of the story and the typing it up it's not a fast process, but it is a satisfying process.
But Crotchety is typed up. It's part of a set of related short stories I have that go together. It takes place in the future as do all the other short stories that go with it. I guess if I ever get them published as a book I would like to call it White Cities and Small Villages. I think Peony's posted on here some where. I felt she was short enough to be posted. A word of caution though, Peony doesn't have the happiest of endings. My daughter, Cherokee, finds stories with sad endings infuriating. But not everyone's story has a happy ending. Just because one's story doesn't end happily doesn't mean it shouldn't be told. Sometimes the sad ones need to be told the most.
Friday, March 28, 2014
I am Not at Fault for My Discharge From Work
Deep breath... Coming out of panic mode from losing my job. Going from: OMG! I was fired & I'll be homeless in 2 months! to: Calming down and able to make a plan phase. Going to: Alright, I lost my job. But I have a lot of skills, I'll find another job. I hated it there anyway and it's really their loss.
I think it helps that I got a letter from Utah Department of Workforce Services yesterday. It made me feel so much better. The first line of the paragraph reads: "Based upon information presented to this Department, it is determined that you were not at fault in your discharge from work." Bam!
That letter lifted a huge weight from my shoulders. I should probably be showing it to an attorney. It doesn't get me my job back, and I don't want it back anyway. I was having a lot of problems with insomnia for a couple of years, but the past few nights I've been sleeping through the night. It's amazing.
Now I have an official letter from a government source that basically states I was wrongly fired and that I can take with me to job interviews. I just need to get someone to interview me. No one seems to want to grant an interview to someone that was fired. Got to figure out how to put a positive spin on it my resume.
I think it helps that I got a letter from Utah Department of Workforce Services yesterday. It made me feel so much better. The first line of the paragraph reads: "Based upon information presented to this Department, it is determined that you were not at fault in your discharge from work." Bam!
That letter lifted a huge weight from my shoulders. I should probably be showing it to an attorney. It doesn't get me my job back, and I don't want it back anyway. I was having a lot of problems with insomnia for a couple of years, but the past few nights I've been sleeping through the night. It's amazing.
Now I have an official letter from a government source that basically states I was wrongly fired and that I can take with me to job interviews. I just need to get someone to interview me. No one seems to want to grant an interview to someone that was fired. Got to figure out how to put a positive spin on it my resume.
Friday, March 21, 2014
God Hates Me
I have come to the conclusion that if there is a God, he hates me. And if he exist, he is most definitely a man. No woman, no mother, in her right mind would sit back and just watch her child drown like I am. I shouldn't be freaking out because I had to buy groceries, but I am. I have to watch every little penny because I have no income coming in. I found myself sitting in my Exploder crying because I spent $100 on groceries. No one should be crying over buying groceries. And the likelihood I'll be approved for unemployment is between slim and none because I was fired.
Then after I got back home my laptop decided to go crazy. I can't spend money on repairing or fixing this thing. And I need the damn thing for job hunting. I miss the good old days where you went in introduced yourself and filled out a paper application. I bet there are young adults half my age that can't even imagine filling out a paper application with a pen. Many schools don't even teach them how to sign their own names anymore.
And because I've already gotten my income tax return and have a little nest egg from that we don't qualify for any public assistance. And my Bishop made it clear we're on our own until we're broke and homeless. Ain't that a bitch? Make us wait until we have nothing but the clothes on our backs before anyone will help.
And whose going to hire me after being fired? And I've been homeless before when both of my children are little, and it totally sucks. Luckily, they're both special needs so they believed me when I told them we were on vacation. And trying to make my daughter with Asberger's Syndrome understand is impossible. She just doesn't get it. She thinks I'm going to pull a magic wand out of my backside and crap out a miracle.
I was once told by woman I really respect and love that with all the trials God is trusting me to cope with, I am going to end up with a super-dee-duper ginormous mansion in the Celestial Kingdom. I say, I don't need a ginormous gargantuan mansion in the Celestial Kingdom. I'll happily settle for a McMansion in the Celestial Kingdom for an easier life here and now. I'm so tired of this happening to me. It's always one crisis after another where I find myself losing everything I own and starting over with nothing. And most of what I have isn't of any significant value, except that took me several years after I moved here to Utah to acquire what little we have. We just finally got our mattresses off the floor a couple of months ago and in a couple of months we won't have beds again. There either is no God or he hates me.
Then after I got back home my laptop decided to go crazy. I can't spend money on repairing or fixing this thing. And I need the damn thing for job hunting. I miss the good old days where you went in introduced yourself and filled out a paper application. I bet there are young adults half my age that can't even imagine filling out a paper application with a pen. Many schools don't even teach them how to sign their own names anymore.
And because I've already gotten my income tax return and have a little nest egg from that we don't qualify for any public assistance. And my Bishop made it clear we're on our own until we're broke and homeless. Ain't that a bitch? Make us wait until we have nothing but the clothes on our backs before anyone will help.
And whose going to hire me after being fired? And I've been homeless before when both of my children are little, and it totally sucks. Luckily, they're both special needs so they believed me when I told them we were on vacation. And trying to make my daughter with Asberger's Syndrome understand is impossible. She just doesn't get it. She thinks I'm going to pull a magic wand out of my backside and crap out a miracle.
I was once told by woman I really respect and love that with all the trials God is trusting me to cope with, I am going to end up with a super-dee-duper ginormous mansion in the Celestial Kingdom. I say, I don't need a ginormous gargantuan mansion in the Celestial Kingdom. I'll happily settle for a McMansion in the Celestial Kingdom for an easier life here and now. I'm so tired of this happening to me. It's always one crisis after another where I find myself losing everything I own and starting over with nothing. And most of what I have isn't of any significant value, except that took me several years after I moved here to Utah to acquire what little we have. We just finally got our mattresses off the floor a couple of months ago and in a couple of months we won't have beds again. There either is no God or he hates me.
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Job Hunting
I hate this part. I hate job hunting and looking for a job. Getting the Resume up to date and in order isn't that big of a deal. But you also need to make sure your references are in order which for me also means contacting people I haven't talked to in a while because I've been busy surviving. And I'm not one of those Misery Loves Company type of people. The more miserable I am, the more withdrawn I become. Not that I've ever been a social butterfly.
Job hunting just makes me feel like I'm begging. Oh, please, sir, give me a job. The fact that I am honest and hard working doesn't seem to matter. The last time I lost a job, I was laid off and it took me 2 years to find that stinking job at Convergys that I hated, but still did my best at it and got fired after nearly 3 years of being a dedicated employee. Hard work and dedication don't seem to mean squat if you're not part of the right clique and can't make quota because you're honest and you tell customers what they need to know.
I don't know what the purpose of being honest and hard working is. It's certainly not appreciated. The rewards go to all the people who are good at Baffling People with Bullshit. I wonder if that works with God. Maybe after I'm dead I'll finally get that pat on the back I've been waiting for my whole life.
Job hunting just makes me feel like I'm begging. Oh, please, sir, give me a job. The fact that I am honest and hard working doesn't seem to matter. The last time I lost a job, I was laid off and it took me 2 years to find that stinking job at Convergys that I hated, but still did my best at it and got fired after nearly 3 years of being a dedicated employee. Hard work and dedication don't seem to mean squat if you're not part of the right clique and can't make quota because you're honest and you tell customers what they need to know.
I don't know what the purpose of being honest and hard working is. It's certainly not appreciated. The rewards go to all the people who are good at Baffling People with Bullshit. I wonder if that works with God. Maybe after I'm dead I'll finally get that pat on the back I've been waiting for my whole life.
Saturday, March 8, 2014
Fired
03/03/14, I turned 25 again for the 19th time. 03/07/14, I was fired for the first time in my life. I admit, I wasn't loving the job. I was there nearly three years and I can tell you from experience, working in a call center is not a dream job. But it paid the bills, was keeping us fed and was keeping us from being homeless. March's rent is paid for, but my lease isn't up until May and I don't know how April and May's rent is getting paid. Don't know where we're going to live after that either.
Getting fired sucks! Especially when you didn't do anything wrong. I don't have bad attendance and I don't have any drug nor alcohol issues. I used to smoke cigarettes, but I quit years ago.
Basically, I'm fired for not making quota. They track every second of your work day and that is literally down to the second. You're micro managed to the point it's insane. Every call is recorded and I think they should be, but not just anybody can pull up a previous agent's call and listen to it. So you're totally dependent upon the notes to know what was offered or not offered and you have less than twenty seconds to get those notes on the account once the call ends if you didn't get them on the account while you were on the phone with the customer. If it takes you longer than twenty seconds, you're in After Call Work and that's bad.
So I was a customer retention agent. When I originally moved to being a customer retentions agent, I was told there would be no selling and that there would be all kinds of offers available for me to use to save customer's accounts with. Except that turned out not to be true. Added to the already over complicated job of customer retention was Bundling and I wasn't selling enough bundles nor was I saving enough accounts because the price of DTV went up again 02/06/14 and even long-term customer accounts in excellent status suddenly weren't having decent offers available to offer to customers. When you've been a loyal customer for 10 or more years and there's only a $5off for 3 months or a $5off for 6 months available, that's insulting.
Folks, please be patient with those agents when you call in for assistance or you're looking for discounts. Those accounts are complicated, much more complicated than the bill you look at every month. And an agent cannot give you a discount that doesn't exist on the account. So if it's not in add/change services for them to offer, they can't offer it and they do NOT have the ability to create it for you. You are simply SOL, as am I.
It's 4:40 am and I would normally be getting ready for work at this time. But I am up and wide awake with a tension headache. I took a pill to get to sleep last night. Normally that little pill knocks me out within 15 minutes, but I was still awake for more than an hour after I took it. Then I still only slept for a couple of hours after I finally fell to sleep.
Like the Team Lead told me that fired me, sucks to be me.
Getting fired sucks! Especially when you didn't do anything wrong. I don't have bad attendance and I don't have any drug nor alcohol issues. I used to smoke cigarettes, but I quit years ago.
Basically, I'm fired for not making quota. They track every second of your work day and that is literally down to the second. You're micro managed to the point it's insane. Every call is recorded and I think they should be, but not just anybody can pull up a previous agent's call and listen to it. So you're totally dependent upon the notes to know what was offered or not offered and you have less than twenty seconds to get those notes on the account once the call ends if you didn't get them on the account while you were on the phone with the customer. If it takes you longer than twenty seconds, you're in After Call Work and that's bad.
So I was a customer retention agent. When I originally moved to being a customer retentions agent, I was told there would be no selling and that there would be all kinds of offers available for me to use to save customer's accounts with. Except that turned out not to be true. Added to the already over complicated job of customer retention was Bundling and I wasn't selling enough bundles nor was I saving enough accounts because the price of DTV went up again 02/06/14 and even long-term customer accounts in excellent status suddenly weren't having decent offers available to offer to customers. When you've been a loyal customer for 10 or more years and there's only a $5off for 3 months or a $5off for 6 months available, that's insulting.
Folks, please be patient with those agents when you call in for assistance or you're looking for discounts. Those accounts are complicated, much more complicated than the bill you look at every month. And an agent cannot give you a discount that doesn't exist on the account. So if it's not in add/change services for them to offer, they can't offer it and they do NOT have the ability to create it for you. You are simply SOL, as am I.
It's 4:40 am and I would normally be getting ready for work at this time. But I am up and wide awake with a tension headache. I took a pill to get to sleep last night. Normally that little pill knocks me out within 15 minutes, but I was still awake for more than an hour after I took it. Then I still only slept for a couple of hours after I finally fell to sleep.
Like the Team Lead told me that fired me, sucks to be me.
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